As a Christian, everything matters...

I am growing increasingly aware of how my identity as a woman of faith, a person of color, and an advocate for equality and social justice has affected my role as a researcher. To be fair, I am also a well-educated, upper-middle class woman who has experienced little, in terms of personal life struggle. While I have seen a great deal of injustice in my short life, I have not been the subject of such inequity. These, too, cannot be eliminated from my identity as a researcher. As a Christian, everything matters. My faith dictates the whole of my life (or so it should). Although to a lesser extent, as a researcher, everything also matters. The rationale behind my pursuit of knowledge, my philosophy on humankind, everything.

For example, I recognize the finite and ambiguous nature of humankind and the inherent value in understanding the perspective of others. Without integrating a community and global perspective into my worldview, my perception of reality will be deficient. I understand that the word ‘knowledge’ defies stringent definition, and individual philosophical renderings are equally as varied. I consider human nature to be fallible, thereby making no human understanding of God, self, or society without flaw. My own philosophical understanding and perception of truth is entirely rooted in my perspective of faith. Our world is rife with paradox. I understand that God has created all humans to be equal, and the inequalities present in our world today have been caused by a lack of understanding this Truth. Truth has nothing to fear from investigation and critical inquiry, though many who know “the truth” fear scrutiny. Knowledge is both fluid and constant. The more I learn, the more I realize I have much to learn. Over the past six months, I have truly come to understand that my individual philosophical perspective of knowledge, truth, and human nature impacts all that I do, all that I study, and all that I am. 

Bricklayer, Bricklayer, Lay me a Brick

According to my husband, I am a bricklayer. I lay one sentence at a time.  I simply cannot move from one sentence to the next, until the initial sentence is perfect. Before I move from one paragraph to the next, I reread the entire paper in its entirety, just to make sure it flows well. Essentially, it takes me a very long time to compose a paper. While this can be a bit inhibiting when I have a great idea or concept that just needs to get from my head onto the paper, I see it as a slow-moving strength.

Well, that is normally speaking. I have discovered that my “tried and true” paper writing technique of semesters past is NOT well suited to quantitative research studies. Typically, I would consider myself to be a fairly strong writer...however slow moving I might be. But this time around? I feel like I am a fish out of water. To be honest, I don’t know if I can clearly identify why this particular paper is so much harder to write. I mean, I have plenty of books and resources that have guided my way. I guess this is really the type of project that you learn by doing…multiple times. And this goes for the whole thing, from beginning to end. The more you interview, the better you get at asking good, productive questions. The more you transcribe, the more you realize it is a task best outsourced (ha!). The more you code, you develop ways to go about it more efficiently. The more you identify themes, the more easily they pop off the page. 

Well, as I head back to APU, I look forward to learning more about actually synthesizing and writing up my findings. Hopefully I will learn how to a) turn the data into bricks, or b) abandon the technique that does not seem to work.

Researcher Bias...

Surprisingly, I found it difficult to define my biases as a researcher. The thing is, I know I have many biases...and I can note them pretty clearly. So why was it so difficult to define them for this qualitative study?

Anyway, here is what I have come up with so far...though it is certainly considered to be a work in progress:

I am Mexican American, and I grew up in a predominantly white environment. My first “real” opportunity to live and learn in a more diverse community was as an undergraduate at Pepperdine University, were I earned a BA in Organizational Psychology and experienced rich growth, academically, spiritually, and intellectually. Upon graduation, I began working in admission, where I was confronted with the disheartening reality of the roadblocks to access and equity in higher education as experienced by historically underrepresented students. Through my continued exposure to such inequity, my research interests in the area of access, equity, and campus climate for diversity at faith-based institutions were born. I am particularly in interested in learning about the experiences of underrepresented students, faculty, and staff at predominantly white faith-based institutions. 

When engaged in the research process, I abandon my role as an administrator at my alma mater and embody my role as a doctoral student at Azusa Pacific University, a faith-based institution in Southern California. As a woman, a student, and a person of color, I felt the participants felt comfortable sharing their experiences with me. For many, it seemed therapeutic to share some of their more trying experiences and feelings of vulnerability.

  

The Story

To say that I am overwhelmed by the amount of data I have after just 7 interviews would be an understatement. I feel like I am swimming in a sea of very interesting and equally important data. As I read and re-read my transcriptions for the zillionth time, new ideas or themes seem to emerge. And I think I can accurately say that I am not very good at the coding process. Why, you may ask? As I begin to highlight a quote that someone says, I find myself continually struck by every word in the particular response. Then, I proceed to highlight the entire passage. 

Surely, I need to get better at discriminating which of the sentences in the passage in question carries the most meaning...but I continually find myself getting lost in the entire story of their experience. One of my colleagues has mentioned her commitment to finding the story through qualitative research. I don't think it was until now that I truly understood what that means. I think it does make it harder, as I am dealing with the stories of seven people--each of whom has rich, valuable, and telling experiences. 

Well, now I must return to the process of distilling those meaningful stories into meaningful themes. Back to coding I go...